How to socialise (in real life) in a super social world?
Cracking the teen code to making friends and maintaining* friendships.
You see those popular kids around you and you wonder HOW? Just how are they so casually doing that? Talking to new people, making friends at one go, easily shifting between different groups with such an air of confidence. While you barely manage to say present ma'am during attendance and even when you do, you’re always wondering - was my tone right, was I audible, should I say yes ma’am or present maam. Ugh.
Here’s the good news. Making friends for the majority of the people is tough. Even after you make friends, constantly socialising and staying in with the latest tea can be hard. But we got you! Here are some easy to-dos to get out there and flick your hair in the spotlight.
Heard of the resting bitch face? There’s a chance you might have one too. This can easily intimidate people and make you unapproachable. So try to smile more. Smile when you meet new people or even familiar ones and you will instantly seem like a warm personality. The only thing to be cautious about is fake smiles. If you try too hard to smile and it shows, it’ll do more damage than good.
Humans loveeeee to talk (mostly). So if you think you’re not much of a talker or are shy to say the wrong things, be a good listener. People will instantly want to share more and be around you as they’ll feel more comfortable. This will also be a great opportunity for you to actually get to know people so you can decide who you would click with more.
While this might seem shallow, hear us out. You don’t have to throw fake compliments around like the Mean girl, instead if you genuinely appreciate something about someone, you can say it out loud. This could be as small as their hairstyle to as valuable as a quality like helpfulness. We all love a little validation and sometimes we do need it more than other days.
Let’s be real. In today’s world, nothing is easier than making friends over memes. Like, share, send, that’s all it takes! All you need to keep in mind is that your humour should match the other person’s humour too because memes can very easily cause disdain if they offend someone. Once you have a good humour, laughing emoji exchange, you can take the friendship to the next level by then connecting personally in your school or college.
Get. out. there.
The best thing about being in school (or college) is that you can try soooo many different things. Like art? There’s a club for it. Crazy about Bollywood dance? There’s a club for it. What about theatre? There’s.. well you get the point. So many different activities also bring with it lots of new people to meet and talk to. The best part is you don’t even have to directly approach people here. You can just be doing your activity passionately and you’ll find equally passionate people to vibe with.
Here’s some sample conversations to explain this phenomenon:
Rahul: Hey, we’re planning to go out for pizza, wanna join?
Tina: Hey, wanna come to watch the match?
Anjali: Hey, want to come for my birthday?
If this sounds like you, you really shouldn’t be wondering why you find it difficult to maintain friends. While learning to say no is super important and you definitely should not force yourself into doing anything, sometimes saying yes to even small plans is important. This might require you to get out of your comfort zone and for once do things not exactly as you would want it. It might sound super tiring, but might just end up having a ton of fun. Anyway, you won't really know until you try.